Why Modern American Feminism has Failed Women

I believe that when you try to make women the economic equivalent of men, you actually devalue them. It's not that I don't think women should get equal pay for equal work. They should. But because we live in a free market economy, when women began entering the workplace in droves, the economy shifted. It then became necessary for women to go to work in order to raise a family at the same economic level that used to be achievable on a single income. Essentially, every worker took a pay cut because there was a surge of available workers.

Now, if a woman is working, who's looking after her family? The far more essential work of raising future generations has been farmed out to others who are paid less, and will never be the equivalent of a child's own mother. The fallout from the emotional disconnect that has resulted from the physical separation between children and their mothers is something we are only beginning to be able to comprehend.

Furthermore, the essential unpaid social work of women in our society is going undone. What once was a veritable army of stay at home wives, daughters, and mothers, has dwindled to a company of broke stragglers. We choose to stay home over financial security, and we accept the consequences, but what the army used to accomplish we no longer have the resources to do. Women doing what they were passionate about, rather than what they had to do to afford to live, accomplished incredible things. They brought about massive social change, they were the underpinnings of our educational institutions, they served the poor, and cared for the sick. They wove the fabric of civilization that is created through communication, compassion, and community.

Furthermore, they had the time resources to help the few single mothers that had to work to survive. All of the older women in my family have talked about how they helped care for the children of their single mom neighbors while they worked. Because the children were in their homes so much, the husbands of these generous women also became surrogate fathers to those children. No social institution can replace that kind of person to person caring for others. Half a dozen institutions working together can't replace that connection. Now we're outnumbered by single moms. How can we possibly support all of them? We can't.

When a woman is liberated from her socially applied identity as an economic unit, she becomes a force for good that has far more value to the world than the money she could make doing equal work for equal pay.

I keep a Hagar the Horrible comic strip on my desk in which Helga is raising her glass to a group of women with the toast, "One day men and women will be equal. Until then, let us celebrate our overwhelming superiority!" In order to embrace modern feminism I would have to think less of myself than I presently do, and less of women in general, and that's not okay with me.

In order to be equal to a man, in the economically based definition of modern feminists, I must be devalued. I would much rather achieve equality by raising men in our social responsibility based value system. By teaching our sons to do what is good and what is right for the world regardless of economic incentives. A man raised to that standard would never accept a pay differential based entirely on gender, race, or any other social divisor. He would never value profits over the welfare of his employees. He would never accept a government made of individuals whose loyalty he could buy.

We need to stop trying to lower ourselves to the standards of men, and begin to raise them to ours.

Halloween

Halloween comes around every year and I'm faced with the same dilemma.  How much of my energy do I want to put into celebrating a pagan holiday?

It is not worth my energy to protest it.  Nothing draws a kid's attention to something bad for them like a parent making a big deal out of avoiding it.  You may object to my characterizing Halloween as bad for children, but my dad was a police officer, and cops dread Halloween.  It brings out the crazies.  With more adults celebrating than ever, it's also becoming another nightmare of drunk driving incidents.

When I was a kid we carved a pumpkin, had a little class party at school, and went trick or treating in our immediate neighborhood.  That was it.  A few odd people decorated their houses and threw parties.  Haunted houses were corny on purpose and, being a good Christian family, we avoided them.

Then we moved from our little island in Alaska to a region of California considered to be a center of real witchcraft.  Pumpkin patches with corn mazes and jumpy houses spring up all over the countryside October first.  Haunted houses use movie tech to make your fears a reality.  Approaching regular houses can be just as terrifying, as every block has a house or two decorated with as much care as only Christmas used to elicit.  If your neighborhood is a dud you go to another neighborhood.  Certain neighborhoods are slowly developing reputations for coolness, and get massive foot traffic.

In the deep woods and out on the beach, pagan rites are performed in all earnestness, complete with drums, chanting, and running in circles on broomsticks.  Animal shelters will not adopt out black cats.  Homeless teens are drawn into all kinds of perversion, including self mutilation and vampiric acts, by Wiccan priests who recruit them by offering shelter and a meal.  That's on the extreme end, but it's happening.

On a less horrible note, even elementary schools don't just have a little party with cupcakes in each classroom anymore.  There's a school wide carnival with its own haunted house, games, and tons of candy.  When the holiday falls conveniently for it, they schedule a teacher workday for November first so they don't have to deal with the fallout of sugar withdrawals and sleep deprived kids.

Winnie's kindergarten class went to a pumpkin patch on the thirty-first and each kid brought home a pumpkin, so we carved it that afternoon.  All my kids costumes came from their closet and imaginations.   None were scary.  We went to the mall early to begin trick or treating so the kids could get their fill of it by bedtime.  My thirteen year old bailed early and stayed home with Grandma to pass out little pots of play dough to trick or treaters at our house.  We finished up by going around our little immediate neighborhood.  Then we snuggled up at home with popcorn and a favorite show.

It was enough, and nothing's left but candy to consume and a pumpkin to throw on the mulch pile.  I'm neither a naysayer, nor an enthusiast.  I just don't care enough about a holiday that has no religious or emotional relevance to me.

I don't want to add to an environment conducive to the crazies by making more out of it than I need to.  And I'm definitely in bed early, kids tucked in and accounted for, and not out on the road as a target for a drunk driver, or at a dark party getting tipsy and making myself an easy target for a serial rapist or killer.  Perhaps I over think these things, but I have a strong aversion to things that intentionally generate fear for fun and do not enjoy deliberately exposing myself to things designed to frighten me or to known statistically dangerous environments.