Prerequisite: watch movie, The Stepford Wives, 2004 version, preferably on a date with your spouse.
Statistically speaking, the most important thing you can do for your children is keep your marriage strong. We are genetically wired to put our kids first, especially when they're babies. But if the best thing for your kids is happily married parents, then we may need to consciously reprioritize. One way to keep your marriage strong is to build memorable incidents of intimacy.
I don't know how the stereotype of intimacy at bedtime came to be, but I can think of nothing less inspiring than being attacked by my husband at the end of a long day of cleaning, errands and whining children who don't like what I made for dinner and can't sleep without a story. One of the tenets of a happy life is that you can't change other people, you can only change how you respond to them. I can't change the fact that he wants me anywhere and everywhere. He's male, and he married me. It goes with the territory. So I try to wear him out on my schedule, earlier in the day, as often as I can pull it off.
One of our favorites is what I call "Going Stepford". We're all modern women capable of doing anything a man can do. That's not in question. But on the rare occasions, when the house is really finally completely clean, it's fun to put on a dress and heels, set the table with candles and champagne flutes, send the kids to Grandma, and play the role of 50s domestic godess. If you can swing it and all the kids are in school, suggest he come home for "lunch". There's no way we could actually live the somewhat creepy Stepford ideals, and we wouldn't want to, but I doubt there is a man alive who hasn't fantasized about it.
Give him a memory he'll never forget to take him through the inevitable dry spells when you've been taking care of sick kids for two weeks and haven't bathed in nearly as long. Yes, that's how you make a marriage last for sixty years. Make sure the ups are up enough to carry you through the downs.
As a bonus, the anticipatory turn on I now experience as my house gets near to completely clean, gives me the oomph I need to finish.
Statistically speaking, the most important thing you can do for your children is keep your marriage strong. We are genetically wired to put our kids first, especially when they're babies. But if the best thing for your kids is happily married parents, then we may need to consciously reprioritize. One way to keep your marriage strong is to build memorable incidents of intimacy.
I don't know how the stereotype of intimacy at bedtime came to be, but I can think of nothing less inspiring than being attacked by my husband at the end of a long day of cleaning, errands and whining children who don't like what I made for dinner and can't sleep without a story. One of the tenets of a happy life is that you can't change other people, you can only change how you respond to them. I can't change the fact that he wants me anywhere and everywhere. He's male, and he married me. It goes with the territory. So I try to wear him out on my schedule, earlier in the day, as often as I can pull it off.
One of our favorites is what I call "Going Stepford". We're all modern women capable of doing anything a man can do. That's not in question. But on the rare occasions, when the house is really finally completely clean, it's fun to put on a dress and heels, set the table with candles and champagne flutes, send the kids to Grandma, and play the role of 50s domestic godess. If you can swing it and all the kids are in school, suggest he come home for "lunch". There's no way we could actually live the somewhat creepy Stepford ideals, and we wouldn't want to, but I doubt there is a man alive who hasn't fantasized about it.
Give him a memory he'll never forget to take him through the inevitable dry spells when you've been taking care of sick kids for two weeks and haven't bathed in nearly as long. Yes, that's how you make a marriage last for sixty years. Make sure the ups are up enough to carry you through the downs.
As a bonus, the anticipatory turn on I now experience as my house gets near to completely clean, gives me the oomph I need to finish.
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