The simple phrase, I love you, is the most inferential phrase in the world. It means something different to each of us, and holds various meanings within each relationship we have.
You've probably figured out by now that I often try to create positive change in my life by challenging myself with new rules. As I began to the explore the possibility of a romantic relationship with my best friend, who is now my husband, I challenged us both. We would not use this fickle phrase, but strengthen our vocabulary and communication skills by choosing more precise verbiage.
Basically, I told him not to tell me he loved me until it meant he was prepared to do whatever it took to marry me. Yeah, I was a little blunt. It's one of the best things we've done to build our relationship. While the I love yous now flow freely, we also continue to frequently express more precise feelings.
Today I issue this challenge to you. When you feel something positive toward your mate, remember that you're feeling that gushy lovey feeling for a reason, and choose words that express it specifically instead of another, "I love you." Try it for a few days, then come back and share your results.
My favorite starts:
I really appreciate the way you ...
When you ..... I feel ...
I'm so glad I/we ...
I'm so impressed/proud of you when ...
I noticed that you ...
Thank you for ...
It's even better to put some of these in writing. Love notes give you something to hold onto when your partner isn't with you. I find them at the bottom of my grocery list. In my digital notepad, email, text, on the bathroom mirror. They make me smile all day long. More importantly, they make me want to respond in kind, beginning a self-perpetuating spiral of affection and happiness in our marriage.
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